Miss Bholi Deko Kya Boli?

Master Chintu (Star correspondent of 'Voice Notes') was damn nervous, he had never interviewed any beggar before. The moment he saw Bholi Banjaran a.k.a BB (Beggars Association of India [B.A.I], Spokesperson and Head of Delhi Region).

Out of nervousness Master Chintu asked:

Chintu: I am sure you don't beg?

BB: I do, I mean, I don't, at times I do. Actually I 'teach'.

Chintu: Please tell me, what exactly do you mean by teaching?

BB: You see the 'field artists'. I mean the beggars, come from all parts of India and are of different age groups. We rarely get artist with prior work experience. So they are taught how to act, gain empathy etc. They undergo training from experts like me, I basically write the script(s) and teach them how to deliver it. They step into the field only after passing 'The Bhegar Test'. Then according to their result, zone as well the specific red lights are allotted.

Chintu: I have heard that innocent people are made handicapped and are forced to beg?
BB: I can not comment over it. Sorry!

Chintu: You seem to be well versed in English?

BB: I am a computer science engineer.

Chintu: Which College?

BB: Shanta Ram Bhola Ram!

Chintu: Ok! (a moment of silence) So, you Shifted your career?

BB: There were no college placements due to recession plus there are very limited options. IT sector is not for people, who want to grow and earn money in life. I always wanted to do something challenging in life. So here I am.

Chintu: Ok! (a longer silence) You find growth in begging?

BB: Certainly Yes! I started my career as field artist then Team Leader, after that I started handling all the signal operations and Now after 3 years I am handling all the human resource, planning and strategizing. Basically I am handling the entire Delhi region. I can not tell you how challenging our industry is. We deal with Police, Politicians, Dealers, there are so many. Basically you work with the system as well as against the system

Chintu: Money?

BB: Just don't ask about it. Currently begging industry is facing its all time low but according to my seniors  there was a time when B.A.I had billions of dollars in its Swiss bank account.

Chintu: What are the reasons for this all time low?

BB: There are n number of reasons like Media, NGOs, Lack of government support, police interference in our human resource team but these are not the major causes. They were always there. 

Chintu: Then what is the major cause for downfall of the billion dollar begging industry?

BB: Honking!

Chintu: Honking?

BB: Yes, it is a pain in ass. By god honking has fucked our profession.
Chintu: Please tell us how exactly honking affected your profession?

BB: Basically the we work on a C TO B business model i.e. Consumer to Business. Now honking affects both the sides, our potential clients as well as the field artist.

Chintu: How does your clients get affected? 

BB: Before that you will have to understand the functioning of field artist of B.A.I. There are few stages:

Stage 1: All the artist align themselves at strategic locations just before the signal turns Red.
Stage 2: Instructions are sent from the signal coordinator's (who monitor the entire red light via CCTV cameras.) to the artists, 

Stage 3: Signal coordinators assign clients to respective beggars.

So honking disrupts the communication between the beggars ans coordinators.
Chintu: Do you have any plans to control honking?
BB: Yes! This is the sole reason for me to come over here and give this interview.

This is the list of punishments B.A.I intend to enforce in the coming months. Please read the article 'Horn OK Please' to know about the funniest ways of tackling a serious problem.

Keep Reading!

Shubham Gune